By recognizing we do may not have all the information, we acknowledge our assumptions may be incorrect and we allow space for the other person to contribute to shared problem resolution. In the above examples the different “What Happened” conversations are reframed as opportunities to jointly learn about the situation. Let’s identify your contributions and figure out how to fix this I know my intent, but I wonder what you were intending. I don’t like the impact this is having on me. What is the data each of us is relying upon? Whose story is right, and whose is wrong? Here are a few examples of how to reframe “What Happened” conversations into “Learning Conversations”: Instead of assigning blame or assuming we understand the other person’s motives, our conversations can be designed to help us better understand how the other person sees the situation. Our “What Happened” conversations can be reframed into “Learning Conversations”. After studying hundreds of conversations of various types, the authors found that no matter what the subject was, our conversations always shared the same underlying structure. Problems are more easily resolved when we approach them with an openness and curiosity about the other person’s perspective. Chapter 2: Why difficult conversations happen A difficult conversation occurs anytime you find it hard to talk about something. Or we may want a definitive declaration from that the other person that he or she is in the wrong. 15.99 List Price: 22.00 Save: 6.01 (27) Get Fast, Free Shipping with Amazon Prime FREE Returns FREE delivery Friday, November 24 on orders shipped by Amazon over 35 Or fastest delivery Tuesday, November 21. We may make assumptions about the other individual’s motives or actions. When we have a “What Happened” conversation we are usually operating with an assumption that we know all the facts that led to the problem. In our last post we discussed the “What Happened” conversation, one of the three types of difficult conversations Douglas Stone mentions in his book Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most. We attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day-whether dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client.
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